Just in the morning I was doing some dream tests. I used to dream of snakes, accidents, running away from attackers and also recurring dreams of not having studied for the examinations. I happened to read that just before one retires to bed if one happens to be discussing disturbing facts then one tends to dream night mares. Also that if one sleeps right after eating a heavy dinner one might have night mares. I don’t know if what I read caused the massive dream I had the whole night but definitely I could not have any proper sleep. Twice in the middle of night I was shaken awake and tried recalling my dreams with my eyes closed but brains and mind wide awake. At one point I even thought of staying up and writing down my dream but somehow I could not make myself shake from the sleep. Interestingly, this time I could remember every details of the dream.
The first part of the dream was a bit scary and nightmarish. I saw my late mum carrying a huge knife and killing a man cutting him in two right through his head till the stomach. I was standing there watching my mum in shock holding onto my two little kids. After sometime my mum came to me without any traces of blood on her and having hidden the dead body also. It reminded me of the lady Macbeth in the famous Shakespearean play ‘Macbeth’ I saw myself shivering out of fear. I was so worried that she committed a crime and I was hiding that crime from the police. I was telling myself that police would soon find out once they find that the man is missing and I was sure that I would be taken behind the bar for abetting the crime.
Just then I got up and realized that I was shaking and was covered in sweat. I tried to close my eyes and recount the dream. And I fell asleep again just to have another dream. This time the people in the dream were all mixed up. People in my life from past and present came into the scene. Some bad and some good people. I saw all my siblings too in different forms and roles. Some were kind to me and some were abusive. In one of the scene I had planted three green plats in a flower pot. A colleague from my past work place comes to me asking for lowers and my elder brother tells me to give the plant that I had just planted in my flower pot. I refuses to give that plant and instead I pluck three flowers from a garden and asks her to take them. She tells me she was asked by the teachers to bring the flowers or their school garden. I say, “these teachers are a pain in the ass sometimes. They ask for things unnecessarily.” In another scene I find myself breast feeding my daughter. While I breastfeed her I find that excess milk flows from my other breast.
Then interestingly I was with Dawa and Namgay Zam-both anchor and TV Journalists from Bhutan Broad Casting Service. They were at my place and I was explaining to them how I had an accident that never came out in the news. I was telling them that my entire family (that includes me, my husband and my two kids) went off the road some 150 meters and came out alive without so much of a scratch. I was telling them why I felt so cramped up and wanted to live in a clutter free house. I was telling them the reason why I had my sofas removed and made my sitting arrangements on the floor in the sitting room. I was telling them that soon after I came home from the accident how I undid my wardrobe and donated all the clothes to some needy people. Then came the most poignant line that I was sharing with them “what would be the use of all this worldly goods had I died on the spot in an accident”
Soon after I uttered the above words I was once again awake. I started to recall my dreams and then I realized it might me trying to teach me something very important. That evening before I retired to bed I was discussing with my elder sister how our elder siblings have owned the family land and building in their names. I felt cheated having left with not a decimal of land in my name. I intended to fight for my share. But after the dream I just realized that these things had no meaning in my life. What would I do owning a land after creating lots of discord in the family. What is the use of all the worldly goods if I don’t have the inner peace? I then decided I would rather choose to be happy, peaceful and healthy and nurture my children in a healthy environment rather than fighting for a plot of land.
With this good thought I went back to sleep and had another dream. The dream was a continuation of Dawa and Namgay Zam from BBS. I really don’t know the significance of their appearance in my dream since I hardly know them in person. I just heard about and know them as TV journalists in Bhutan. Let me be honest and admit a thing here. The most beautiful part of the entire dream was that brisk moment when I was running hand in hand with Dawa and teasing him pleasantly. I was telling myself I could have a very platonic friendship with him. (Yet to find out the significance lol)
Then my dream shifted to some monks or lamas in some monastic institute. (Even I am not very sure) He seems to have fallen for me and he shares of his intention to marry me. However, while I was walking out of that house I find myself with a lady who calls herself Rinzin. She shares her intention to marry me. (Wow!! Two marriage proposals from two different genders) As I walk out hugging her, I meet a man who asks me whether I choose happiness or doom. I answer him “off course I choose happiness.” Then he says, “in that case you need to shun the company of this woman. This woman who has brought so much ills in other people’s lives will doom yours.” As he says this he takes out his manhood in his hand and starts peeing. Before I realized I saw myself wet by his piss. This makes me so mad. I don’t know how it happened but I find that I have taken hold of him and put him in a basket and then I sit on him and pee on him. There were a few people there who appear to be students in that institute and watching the happenings. The man in the basket requests me to let him out and I do at the same time explaining to him that he got back what he gave to others. At this one of the students says, “Now we know how to treat people who treat us bad” and then I reply with yet another most poignant line from my dream, “be good if others are bad, better if others are worst and be the best you can at any cost.”
With this I fell asleep again and got up only in the morning. As soon as I got up, I tried to recall the entire dream once again and thought to myself, “this dream is really trying to teach me some lessons.” If not anything, at least being good human beings with no overt desires and wants. Immediately I went to my hubby who was already up and was in the kitchen. I narrated him the entire dream in bit and pieces and told him that from now onwards I am never going to discuss about the land issue in my village and that I choose Happiness and Inner Peace over a plot of land. I also told my elder sister never to bring out the land issue in my presence. I told her I don’t want anything and that I want to be left in peace.